Loved Ones are Never Gone

This month marks the anniversary of my mom's passing.  Over the past year, I have caught myself thinking of her and my dad (who also passed away years ago) and all the ways they are still with me.

There are recipes, inside jokes, memories and more that come flooding back at the craziest times.  My dad and I were very close and he still seems to work his way back into my life when I need him most.  For instance, I was feeling down one day about my marketing company. I just seemed to be hitting walls, working late and not getting to the people I wanted to.   Opening a drawer for a pen, I could not find one.  Frustrated, I started taking things out thinking, "Gosh, I can't even find a pen today!".    Digging a little, my hand came across something metal.  Pulling it out, my frustration vanished.  There, in my hand was one of my dad's old key chains.  I clasped it tightly, wondering how on earth it got there  (believe it or not, I had cleaned out my junk drawer before).  :)    Standing there in my kitchen, I just knew that my dad was gently saying, "Don't give up." 

I also had a reminder of my mom's love for cooking.  She had a recipe card box full of "special" recipes that had been carted to pot lucks, P.E.O meetings and more.  I regret that I did not think of taking them with me when we moved her to assisted living.  Years ago, however, she had sent me her recipe for homemade dressing.  I used to have her make it by the blender when I was younger.  I loved it.  I ran across it in an address book and there it was, splattered and worn, but still readable.  Just seeing it transported me to our kitchen in Winfield....measuring just the right amounts of this and that...seeing it blend and smelling the poppy seeds as I would hover over it, waiting for it to be done.

Even though a loved one is not with us physically, the memories, the love - still lives on.  I know.  I've lost my mom, dad, Aunt Ruth and Uncle Arnie all in a matter of a few years.  The funny thing is, I can just see them all sitting around now, having a few cocktails and hear them laughing.  And one of them is likely saying, "Holly, get off that damn computer!"  :)